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What trips me out most? How whores be runnin’ shit on the low. In *Almost Famous*, Penny’s got the power, man—she’s breakin’ hearts, flippin’ the script. “It’s all happening,” she’d say, and I’m sittin’ here like, hell yeah, it is! I knew this one pimp, Tiny, swore his girl made more in a night than he did in a month hustlin’. She’d wink at me, “Snoop, I’m the bank, he just the vault.” Savage, yo! Undercover boss shit right there.

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But then, the day took a turn. We were walking down the road, and I saw this old guy struggling with his groceries. I rushed over to help him. He was super grateful, but then he started telling me his life story. Like, I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk, man! But he was sweet, and I couldn’t just walk away. Turns out, he used to live on the other side of the park. He had all these crazy stories about Cabinteely back in the day. I was just standing there, nodding along, thinking, “This is kinda cool, but also, I’ve got places to be!”

Robert Kelly, Cabinteely, Co. Dublin and formerly of Ballyhaunis, Co. Mayo