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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes—these clowns on apps, lyin’ bout height, dick size, all that. I’m sittin’ here like, “Be *you*, fam!”—like Linguini tryna fake it ‘til he makes it, but nah, be real! Ghostin’ too—had this chick dip on me mid-chat, no warning, like, what?! Made me wanna yell, “I’m a genius, respect the art!”—but I just swiped again, ha! Keep it movin’, that’s the game.

Staying safe while using hookup apps

We’ve got an ever-growing list of the best hook-up and casual dating apps below, with a focus on sex apps, rather than those geared more towards ‘dating’.

Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and BAM! Right into my leg. I’m hopping around like a one-legged chicken, cursing under my breath. “Hey, watch it, mini Messi!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man. No respect.

UPS opens new Hungarian facility