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So, lemme tell ya—met this chick online once. Profile said “adventurous,” I’m like, cool, let’s roll! Turns out, she meant sex in a cave. A CAVE, man! Pitch black, bats flyin’, my ass scrapin’ rocks. Thought I’d die happy—or just die. Laughed my head off after—still smell the damp. Little secret? Miners used to hook up underground—true story! Old timers called it “shaft shaggin’.” History’s freaky, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy János shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race me. A tractor race? Seriously? I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast and Furious movie.” But he’s all pumped, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!” We line up on the edge of the field, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a disaster.”

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