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Me? I dig the chaos of it. Makes me happy seein’ humans trip over cheesy lines—“Are ya an angel?”—ugh, gag me with a spoon! But it’s cute, ya know? Like Llewyn singin’ his heart out, “Hang me, oh hang me,” just to get a gig—or in this case, a hookup. I’ve peeked at X posts ‘bout this—some dude bragged he banged 3 gals in a week off Bumble. Probs a lie, but I salute the hustle!

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I start to panic. My rafts! I left them by the bank! I sprint back, dodging raindrops like they’re bullets. I get there, and thank the heavens, my rafts are still there. But the river’s rising fast. I’m yelling at Laci to help me. We’re hauling those rafts like our lives depend on it.