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About Zagreb

We swears! It’s a maze out there! I’m creepin’ alleys, dodgin’ coppers—nasty buggers, they are! Makes me mad, them judgin’ us, like they’re so pure, pfft. Once saw this prossie, right, dressed posh, like she’s some fancy lady. Fooled me good—happy surprise, that! “Is this real?” I says, like Leo in the movie, spinnin’ his totem. She winks, “Real ‘nough, love.” Cheeky minx!

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But then, back to reality. A couple of tourists come in, and they’re arguing about where to eat. “I want pizza!” “No, I want seafood!” I’m like, “Guys, you’re in Trogir! Get both!” They look at me like I’m a genius.

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