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So, check this – I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, some bird’s posin’ with a bleedin’ tiger – who’s got a tiger?! Made me laugh, mate, proper mental! Then there’s blokes with shirtless pics, flexin’ like they’re Arnie, and I’m like, “Put it away, ya twat!” Gets me angry, all that fake shit – just be real, y’know? But then, bam, ya find someone chill, chats flowin’, and I’m happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me how quick it can click – like, one sec yer lonely, next yer plannin’ a dirty weekend!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy stumbles in. He’s clearly had too much to drink. He’s yelling about how Trogir is the best place ever. I mean, I get it, but dude, calm down! He starts talking about the Kamerlengo Fortress. “You gotta see it!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, I work here, buddy.”

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