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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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When I get to the office, it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, phones ringing off the hook. My colleague, Jean, is in a panic. “We need to fix this NOW!” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But I jump in, trying to help. We’re working like mad, and I’m just praying for the day to end.

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