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About Marseille

Favorite part? When they hit that spot – ya know the one – and I’m yellin’, “Sweet Jesus, don’t stop!” Total power trip, like I’m directin’ my own movie. Oh, and the oil? Smells like sex and victory – gladiator-style. Pro tip: don’t go to some sketchy joint, or you’ll end up with crabs instead of a happy endin’. Happened to Kenny once, dumbass. Laughed my ass off – “You’re a prop in my play now, bitch!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists came in. They were loud, obnoxious, and totally clueless about French culture. I mean, come on! They were trying to order in English, and the poor barista was struggling. I felt my blood boil. Like, learn a few words, people! It’s not that hard. I almost jumped in to help, but then I thought, nah, let them flounder.

A history of town twinning in Hebden Royd, by Jane Jackson