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Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell – nearly fell off the damn table once! Laughed my ass off, masseuse too, ‘til she’s like, “Pay up, clown.” Worth it, tho. Pro tip: don’t go cheap – sketchy places’ll leave ya itchy, not blissful. Trust me, been there, scratched that. Erotic-massage ain’t just a rubdown – it’s a vibe, a freaky lil’ escape. “I feel alive,” Joaquin said in *Her*, and yeah, that’s the deal. Now, go get one – don’t tell me ya won’t!

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So, I finish up and head home, but I take a detour through the old town. The streets are cobblestone, and I’m just vibing. I pass by the church on Maironio g. and it’s stunning. I stop to take a pic, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this place has stories.” And I’m like, “Yeah, I can feel it.”

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