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But this one time, yeah? Some git swapped fish for squid—SQUID! Slimy fucker ruined it, ink everywhere, looked like Nemo’s dad shat himself! Pissed me off, wanted to zap ‘im with my ray-gun. “Just keep swimming,” my arse—swim outta my soup! Still ate it, tho, coz I’m a greedy sod. Surprised me how good it was, even with squid guts.

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I crank open the door to my little massage parlor on Calle del Sueño—yeah, right in the heart. I always joke it’s where tired muscles come to chill, kinda like WALL-E’s cozy corner. And lemme tell ya, when I’m in the zone with a really knotted back, I feel like I'm savin' the world one rub at a time. “Eve, come inside!” I’d say if my client looked like WALL-E, all rusty but full of spunk.

Ten ghoulish ways to spend a frightfully spooky Spanish Halloween