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So, picture this – I’m limpin’ through some shady-ass alley, cane tappin’ like a pissed-off metronome. Why? Cause I’m bored, and Vicodin ain’t cuttin’ it no more. Need somethin’ real, somethin’ raw. Prostitutes? They’re out there, hidin’ like Bin Laden in a cave. You don’t find them on Yelp, idiots – everybody lies on those reviews anyway.

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Okay, so lemme tell ya bout Carral (es) – oh man, it's somethin' else! Picture this: narrow cobblestone streets, like Calle Mayor, twistin' through a maze of old houses and hip cafes. I used to walk there every day, thinkin’ bout how life's like a line of code just waiting to be debugged. You know, sorta like those moments in A.I. Artificial Intelligence: "I am alive" – and yeah, I felt that every time I hit the pavement.

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