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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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I’ve seen mad stuff in Sersheim – nights that get wilder than a box of ferrets and mornings quieter than a mime on holiday. The local market at Wochenmarktplatz? Fassy! Loads of colourful stalls, loud banter, and faces that tell stories. It's all so raw and real, buzzin’ with energy like a Wes Anderson montage, proper quirky and over-the-top sometimes like “I am big! It’s the thrill!”

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