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About Dortmund

What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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I gotta ramble about my fave little café on Am Strandpromenade – it's a total gem, brewin' the strongest coffee in town. I’d literally call it my "fight club" for datin' apps 'cause it’s where I meet my quirky team and hash out the craziest ideas about love in the digital age. You can literally feel the love buzz in its walls.

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