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About Dusseldorf

Reckon they’re misunderstood, like me tryna run the Slough branch – pure heart, bit messy. Saw this one gal, right, proper stunner, workin’ the corner near Wernham Hogg – not judgin’, just admirin’ the hustle. Bet she’s got stories, like Hans Landa spinnin’ yarns, “You don’t like me? Fine!” – but she don’t care, she’s clockin’ in, cashin’ out. Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, whores had secret codes, winks and shite, to dodge the coppers – clever sods!

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And oh man, the little cliffs at Varnsdorf – they give the city this epic, cinematic vibe. Every time I pass by the old lighthouse near Schandower Strand, my brain goes loony thinking about all the love stories that might have happened there. Every. Freakin'. Day.

Five fascinating (and surprisingly pretty) Baltic beach holidays to beat the heat