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About Essen

So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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Then there’s St. Nikolai Kirche. I walk past it while rantin’ 'bout bugs in my code and lost gigs. Seriously, look at that spire tower. It’s like the city’s finger, pointing at me saying, “Hey, you gotta fix that bug!” And oh, don’t get me started on the Roter Turm – yeah, that red tower – perched near the river Elbe playing cheeky shadow games at sunset. Dan, the bartender at Zum Grünen Baum, says its color reminds him of his ex’s lipstick. Classic!

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