Lily Hellenthal Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oh, and get this – some brothels got “themes”! Like, medieval ones with wenches! Wenches! Bloody hilarious, picturin’ knights bangin’ away. “R2-D2, where are you?” – lost in a corset pile! Makes me giggle, but then – ugh, the smell. Stale beer, sweat, worse. Turns me stomach, it does.

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There is no direct connection from Cologne to Hellenthal. However, you can take the train to Kall Bf, walk to Kall Bf, then take the bus to Hellenthal Schöller.

And don’t get me started on the river Schmelz—it winds its way through the town like a lazy snake, reflecting the lit-up bridges at night. You ever seen a reflection so damn pretty? Well, you need to catch it, ya twit! I once sat by the river near Nördlichen Ufer and got so inspired, I nearly bawled my eyes out like some sappy sentimental twat over an old movie scene. "Suppose there’s no heaven"—nah, not exactly that line, but you get the bloody point!

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