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Favorite bit? Saw her once hagglin with a copper—cheeky mare! “What’s your price, love?” he says, and she’s all, “More than your missus charges!”—I nearly pissed meself laughin! Proper Ricky moment, that. Still, makes ya think—life’s a mess, like that film, all tangled and shitty. She’s a survivor, though, gotta give her that. Respect, sorta. Or not. Dunno. Fuck it!

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Damn, I gotta share: the local legend says that behind the old mill on Bergweg there's a secret spot where you can hear the town’s heartbeat at night. True or not, who cares? It’s iconic! And yeah, I dropped my phone there once – hilarious and maddening, but it ended up sparking a near-legendary quest for it.

Kitsch of the day: Vogelbach fishing club restaurant serves German and Asian food in friendly waterside setting