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Met this dude once, swear, told me escorts in Paris—like Amélie’s city—gotta register back in the 1800s. Called em “filles de joie,” joy girls, ha! Had lil cards provin they’re legit—nuts, right? History’s freaky like that. Makes ya wonder, who’s judgin who? Rarrgh! Pisses me off when prudes clutch pearls over it—let em live, damn it!

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Oh, and get this – our local market on Marktplatz is a riot of colors and chants every week. I mumbled, "I'm full of shit, I'm full of it," like a bad line from "Shame" just to express how surreal and raw it feels, alive and all sorts of messy.

I spent 3 days in Germany's famous Black Forest. Here are 4 things I did right — and 2 I wish I'd known before I went.