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I tried it once, swear, this chick’s hands—pure magic. She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “Oh sugah, don’t stop!” Felt like she unlocked some secret door in me—boom, tension gone, replaced with this slow burnin’ heat. Got me wonderin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Like, “I’m falling in love with your voice,” from *Her*—except it’s her fingers talkin’ to my soul, ya dig?

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I rush through it, and guess what? I finish at 12:05. She’s fuming. I’m just standing there, trying to explain that glass doesn’t grow on trees. But she’s not having it. I’m ready to throw in the towel.

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