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About Dortmund

Little fact - in Japan, they got “soaplands,” sneaky sexual-massage joints, been around forever! Sketchy, but kinda badass. Anyway, it’s all slippery oils, dim lights - feels like a secret club. “I ain’t got no home,” Llewyn whines in the flick - dude, get a sexual-massage, find a home in them hands! I’d kill for another go, but last time - ugh, cost me 50 bucks! Ripoff! Made me so mad I almost flipped the table, respect my authoritah!

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The city’s center is all about the vibes on Marktplatz – ya know, that bustling square filled w/ old buildings that scream history, and the smell of fresh pretzels in the air (umm, seriously, pretzel day is magical here). I even got my favorite little spa nestled near Bahnhofstrasse – so convenient for a quick detox session when the daily grind fucks you up. And oh, the alleyways? Legendary! Backstreets where you can stumble upon funky little cafes and vintage shops.

Egon Altdorf at the Henry Moore Institute in Leeds: Arts Intel Report