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So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?
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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Ulica Slobode. Man, that place is a treasure trove. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best pastries. I’m eyeing this cherry strudel, right? But then, this lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me?!” But she’s all, “I was here first.” I’m fuming. Like, lady, it’s a pastry, not a gold bar!
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