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About Bern

Oh, and get this – some prossies got mad stories. One bird told me she serviced a vicar once, proper holy roller. He’s whisperin’ prayers while she’s goin’ down! I’m creasin’, like, “Bruv, that’s next-level sin!” Made me day, that did. Surprised me, too – thought vicars was all tea and biscuits.

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Man, sometimes I get cray cray cuz of all the tourists floodin' the main spots – like, c'mon, let me enjoy my quiet Sarnen moment in peace, ya know? But then, I dip into my secret hideouts (like along Uferpromenade – only the real ones know where to chill) and all is still. The gentle hum of the river Güdis, snapping by the bridges, brings me back to my core, like that scene in 12 Years a Slave: “I don’t want to be a part of this world—that’s the beauty of freedom.” It fires me up to just be me.

Flooding remains critical in Switzerland