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About Essen

Oh, oh! Imagine me as an escort—pfft, hilarious! I’d be like, “Hiii, I’m Patrick, wanna nap?” Total fail, bro! I’d probs eat the paycheck—starfish gotta eat! Makes me laugh so hard I snort. What’s your take, pal? Escort life’s a trip, huh? Gotta admit, it’s kinda dope—freedom, cash, livin’ large. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” like them seagulls, snatchin’ every moment!

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You’d love the unique neighborhoods too, like that artsy vibe near St. Matthias’ Church. I once gave a massage in a hidden little parlor on Am alten Markt (yeah, that’s a secret spot known only to those who vibe with the real scene). Its windows show blurry reflections of candlelight and whispers of old stories. Totally like a scene from Spring Breakers – “Whoa,” right?

Photos: Floodwaters sweep through western Europe