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Oh, and the creeps—bloody hell! Some bloke sent me a dick pic once—mate, I’m Ozzy, not into that! *gargles* Sharon, he’s mental! Laughed me arse off tho—sex-dating’s a circus, clowns included. Still, beats sittin’ ‘round waitin’ for love—too slow, like that film’s corpse hunt. “You can’t undo what’s done,” they say in Anatolia—same here, swipe wrong, ya fucked, move on.

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Ever strolled along Boulevard des Rêves? It's pretty rad, filled with old brick buildings that tell stories like, "Tropical Malady, darling, Tropical Malady." That film, man, its magic vibes match the free spirit of our local park—Parc de l'Étreinte. Imagine solaced sitting under a willow, heart heavy with regrets and joy much like the movie’s mystic flow; it blows your mind, I swear!

Must-try apple picking locations to visit around Montreal!