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So, picture this—dude’s layin’ there, all tense, right? Massage gal—or guy, no judgin’—starts rubbin’, all slow-like. “What’s this feeling?” I mutter, nappin’ my nose. It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky too! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with scented oils—rose, lavender, fancy stuff. Called it “erotic kneadery” or some junk. Bet they didn’t tell *that* in history class, huh? Makes me giggle, thinkin’ of toga guys gettin’ frisky!

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I love gossiping with errybody—yeah, my staff loves my rants. Sometimes I get pissed off, too. Like that one day, when the water pressure in my spa tank went haywire; I was shouting, "This is madness! Pure, unadulterated madness!" Total chaos. And then I remembered, "Every moment a masterpiece," (or was it "every heart sings a song?") – you get the drift, right?

After 51 years, GM closes cold-weather testing facility in Kapuskasing. Ont.