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Been muckin about on Tinder, Bumble, whatever – total chaos, mate! This one geezer, right, puts in his bio, “DTF, no chat,” and I’m sittin there, gobsmacked! No “how’s yer day,” just bam, knickers off! Little known fact, yeah? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers for this shite – “man seeks woman, quick bonk.” Same game, different playground, eh?

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Oh man, Don-Valley-Village (ca) is so wild, u know? I live here and I'm like a family psych guy, rad and stuff, living in this quirky little town. There's Main Street—yeah, the one that twists and curves like a pretzel—and then there's Smarty Ln and Wacky Avenue, where kids run amok, and you can hear “is mayonnaise an instrument?” echoing in your head, hehe.

Where auto thefts in North York were reported this week