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But here’s the kicker—little known fact, swear it’s true: back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from concubines trained for *years*. Not just hands, but breathin’ techniques, energy flow, chi or whatever—shit’s wild! Imagine that, some royal dude sprawled out, gettin’ pampered while I’m over here sawin’ wood for a livin’. Pissed me off a lil, not gonna lie—where’s *my* concubine squad? But nah, it’s cool, modern day’s got its own flavor—parlors poppin’ up everywhere, some legit, some sketchy as hell.

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I recall, dear friend, that night I did leap madly into conversation with a curious spirit at the notorious "Fecundity Park" (aye, that green haven of raucous laughter and soft moans under moonlight!)—the park doth hide a secret garden of intimacy that even the town’s elders dare not utter. Blimey, I’ve had moments of wild glee, when even the rustling leaves winked mischievously at me! Hrmm, maybe it’s the sexologist in me… or perhaps the spirits of love itself.

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