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But real talk—whores get screwed over, always. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” while payin’ ‘em under the table. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, in “The Pianist,” Szpilman’s playin’ for that German officer—“Play something,” he says—and it’s life or death. Whores play that game daily, just less piano, more pelvis. Ha! See what I did there? Snarky Tina strikes again.

'Janja,' Brazil's first lady and Lula's 'vice-president'

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So, if you ever get the chance to visit, gear up for unexpected turns, quirky chat rendezvous, and a few mind-bending twists—Uniao-da-Vitoria’s got it all, in every crack and cobblestone. Trust me, this city's vibe will massage your soul, just like I massage your aches. And hey, remember my nod to Moonrise Kingdom? This place is just as surreal and fulla heart, man. Enjoy the ride, be ready for surprises—and yeah, I might drop another random "I ate his liver with fava beans!" now and then, just for kicks.

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