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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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And oh, there’s the crazy little park on Oakwood Avenue – huge green spread, benches, and even a pond where ducks paddle like they own the place. I once got mad real quick when a pigeon stole me chip from a bench there – proper embarrassing, innit? But then I laughed, thinking, “Do you know what love is, or what is love?” – yeah, I went full cheesy quoting from that cinematic masterpiece.

Margate cops thank locals for reporting crime