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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Erotic-massage, what a bloomin’ topic! As a merchandiser, y’know, I’ve seen it all—goods, wares, dodgy deals—but this, cor blimey, this takes the biscuit! Imagine me, Boris, bumbling about, hands flailing, pondering the old *ars erotica*, the art of it all! Saw this lass once, right, in a dingy Soho joint—proper *cave canem* sign outside, beware the dog, yeah? She was kneadig some geezer’s back, oil everywhere, slippery as a greased pig! Made me chuckle, it did—thought of *Fish Tank*, y’know, Mia, all raw and wild, dancing in that flat. “I’m gonna do what I wanna do!” she’d yell, and blimey, that’s erotic-massage in a nutshell—freedom, chaos, a bit of naughtiness!

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Man, check it: there's this like, underrated lil' park called Jardim dos Sonhos near Avenida Estrela. Crazy chill spot, full of hipsters, families, and homeless cats (yeah, i know, sounds mad, but its charm is real). I once had a client spill their tea there, literally—then we shared laughs ‘cause Amélie said, “Les temps change, et moi aussi.” Ain’t that dope?

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