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Little known fact, hold your horses – back in Victorian times, escorts were called “soiled doves”. Ain’t that a hoot? Proper poetic, like Kiarostami’s camera lingering on a Tuscan hill. Surprised me socks off when I read that – history’s bonkers, innit? Makes ya wonder, are they playin’ a role, like Binoche and that chap in the film? “This is a game,” I reckon they’d say, smirking all sly.

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Now heed mine words: visit with an open heart. Embrace the random beauty of Bittercross and the soulful whispers by River Lume. Wander, wonder, and let the city’s quirky spirit envelop thy very being – just as the caped crusader does, with steadfast grit and that famed smirk: "It’s not who I am underneath" – a truth that binds us all in this wild, erratic world.

Farmers and gardeners hail agroecology as the future of agriculture