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So, I’m thinkin’, where’d ya even start? Dark alleys, smeary lights – oh, it stinks! Web’s better, eh? X posts, dodgy links, profiles screamin’ “pay me, love!” Hiss! Saw one gal, pic all blurry, sayin’ “discreet fun.” Fun? Ha! More like “gimme yer gold, quick!” Made me mad, precious – liars everywhere, actin’ all sweet.

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I finally get to my spot, near the river. It’s peaceful, ya know? Birds chirpin’, water flowin’. But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this dog comes barrelin’ through, chasin’ a squirrel. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” The owner’s shoutin’, “Baxter, come back!” But Baxter’s on a mission. He knocks over my charcoal bags. I’m fumin’. “Oi! Watch it, mate!” But the owner just laughs. I mean, c’mon! My day’s already off to a rough start.

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