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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve had some massages, brother, and the sexual ones? Whoo! It’s like a tag-team match – ya don’t know who’s taggin’ in next, hands or vibes, and yer just ridin’ it out! Once, this chick’s hands were so good, I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal, brother?!” Made me happy as hell, like winnin’ the belt at WrestleMania! But then, dude, some shady spa tried overchargin’ me – $200 for a half-assed rub? Pissed me off big time! I’m like, “I ain’t no jabroni, gimme the real deal or I’m bodyslammin’ this joint!” Total rip-off, brother, had me madder than when Andre turned heel on me!

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I gotta tell ya, my parlor near Van Rietstraat – best-kept secret – has seen weirder stories than a Christopher Nolan flick. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” kinda vibe, you feel me? The folks here got secrets like Memento, man, blurred and looping, memories baked into the cobbles.

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