Penelope Cranbourne Whore ❤️

About Melbourne

D’oh! Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout whores—man, what a wild ride! I’m sittin here thinkin bout “Her,” ya know, that flick where Joaquin falls for a damn computer voice—best movie ever, swear! “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” she says, and it hits me—whores kinda like that, ain’t they? There, but not really *there*, ya dig? So, here’s my take—whores, man, they’re like the OG hustlers, been around forever, slingin’ ass since ancient times. Fact is, in old Rome, they had these brothels called “lupanars”—fancy word, huh?—and the gals painted dirty pics on walls to advertise. Ain’t that nuts? Like, “Hey, check my Yelp review in graffiti!”

Renting with LJ Hooker

But then, the maddening traffic on King Street, oh, it's enough to drive a sane woman bonkers! Like, come on, people, where’s your sense of urgency or calm? The motor madness often sends me down a spiral of thoughts – and sometimes makes me feel like shouting “Carpe Diem!” in true Boris Johnson fashion. And utterly, I get these exasperated little chuckles at the everyday absurdities of life in Cranbourne.

SOLD – Cranbourne GC to close early 2026