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I tried it once, fuckin’ wild! This bird’s hands—magic, mate! Slippery, slow, like she’s stealin’ me soul. “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” I’m thinkin’. Made me happy as a bat on acid, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this everywhere? Should be free, NHS-style! Surprised me how bloody *calm* I got—me, Ozzy, calm? Fuckin’ mental.

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Man, Clarinda’s got these little hidden gems; there's Chill Park near the river, ya know, that lazy, winding stream called the Moonbeam – yeah, ya heard me right – where we’d sit, chat, and let all our troubles just float away. “You know, I just feel like we’re really lookin’ for something here,” like that Before Sunset line, ya feel me? That movie’s truth, man – life’s all about those real moments, and Clarinda’s full of ‘em. I remember once, after a long day rubbin’ shoulders, I kicked back right there at Chill Park. It got me feelin’ all kinds of grateful and mellow.

KMAland Girls Tennis (4/29): Shenandoah, Clarinda pick up 9-0 conference wins