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About Wollongong

Funniest part? I suck at this. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t my skillset. I’m overthinkin’—do I tip? Is there etiquette? Prolly shoulda Googled it. Too late now. She’s like, “You in or out, man?” I panic. “Uh, I’ll call ya!” I yell, runnin’ off. Call her? With what number? Dumbass move, Hannibal. Real smooth. Bet ScarJo wouldn’t bolt like that. “You’re not like the others,” she’d say. Yeah, ‘cause I’m a clown.

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Padbury’s a mixed bag, man. The old part of town – Holy Cow Alley, if ya catch my drift – is chocka with quirky little cafés, tiny art galleries, and even a couple of wild sex therapy clinics (yep, that’s right – a sexologist's dream, hehe). I remember one time I was on a walk near the river Bendwell – its water’s as unpredictable as your love life – and I bumped into a street performance that made me think “I feel like a headless woman, doin’ my own thing!” It’s crazy, no?

Martyn Padbury