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I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

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I stroll down King Avenue – my favorite spot. The trees whisper secrets, and the murmur of the river nearby, like the Nepean, hums lullabies to dreamers. There’s so much tenderness embedded in the ripples. I grabbed my morning coffee there, and man, that breeze reminded me why we fight for love. Yo, it hit me, "We're angry, we're mad, we're alive!"

Man attacks stranger with axe at Bunnings