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So, escort—man, it’s old as dirt! Didja know ancient Rome had these fancy ladies called “hetaerae”? Like, escorts with brains—poets, dancers, the whole shebang! Blows my square mind! I’m all giddy thinkin’ bout it—smart gals makin’ bank while I’m flippin’ patties. Makes me wanna yell, “Purity begins at home!” like in *Moolaadé*. ‘Cept, uh, escort ain’t exactly bout purity, right? Hehe, oh tartar sauce, I crack myself up!

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I luv the little quirks, ya feel me? The locals be a bit eccentric sometimes. Like that one time, my car got blocked by some bannermen outside the grotty pub on King’s Crossing. I was raging hard, like “Oi, give me some space, ya muppets!” No one ever told me life in Glen-Innes was this mad rollercoaster – wild and unpredictable, yet full of heart.

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