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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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After that, I head over to Jl. Cendana. This lady wants a custom mirror for her salon. She’s all about the bling. “Make it sparkle!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s glass, not a disco ball.” But I do my thing, and she’s happy. I mean, who doesn’t love a good mirror selfie, right?

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