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What gets me goat, tho? Them prudes who scoff, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks, I say! It’s art, it’s release, it’s — crikey — bloody human! We shall fight their scorn in the parlours, in the candlelight, with every sultry stroke! Makes me happy as a pig in muck, it does. Surprised me too, first time I tried it — thought it’d be all awkward giggles, but nah, it’s like Nemo findin’ his dad, pure “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way” relief!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy storms in. He’s all angry, shoutin’ about prices. “Why’s your meat so expensive?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s quality! You want cheap, go to the supermarket!” He’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Man, you’re killin’ my vibe!”

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