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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yesss, split mind hissing, got thoughts on findin’ a prossie. Nasty business, eh? But we likes it dark, don’t we, like “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Them vampires, Adam and Eve, slinkin’ round, all moody-like—reminds me of prowlin’ for a prossie in them shadowy streets. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says, and I hiss—prossies ain’t either, eh? Livin’, breathin’, but oh so lost.

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Prostitution itself is not illegal, but many related activities are punishable under the law. Here are the key points: Sex workers can engage in their trade privately but cannot solicit customers in .

After that, I’m thinking, “Okay, it can’t get worse.” But then, this old dude gets in. He’s got this huge bag, and I’m like, “What’s in there, a whole cow?” He’s mumbling about the best fishing spots near the Nistru River. I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, I’m not a fishing guide.”

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