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Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—some fool asked for a rubdown with, like, peanut butter once. Bruh, what? I’d narrate that mess in my gravest tone: “In a world where sanity collapses…” Ha! Me, I’m simple—gimme that slow, sensual vibe, lights dim, maybe some jazz. Makes me feel alive, y’all—like Cobb spinnin’ that top, hopin’ it don’t fall. That’s sexual-massage, fam—a trip worth takin’, flaws and all.

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Then, bam! My phone rings. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the budget.” My heart sinks. Budget talks are the worst. I’m thinking, “Why can’t we just have fun?” But no, we gotta crunch numbers. So, I gather the team, and we dive into the numbers.