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I knew this bird once – escort, total fox. She’d spill tea, sayin’ clients paid her to just *listen*. No hanky-panky, just ear on, mouth shut. Blew my mind, baby! Thought it’d be all “yeah, baby, yeah,” but nope – some blokes just lonely. Made me happy, sorta, knowin’ she’s out there, helpin’ weirdos feel human. But then – ugh – she told me bout this creep. Rich git, wanted her to bark like a dog. Bark! Made me mad, man, proper cheesed off. Who’s that sick, eh?

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, and suddenly, BOOM! A loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s this car accident right on the corner of Calle San Luis. Two cars, both banged up. People yelling, horns honking. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I needed.” I mean, I’m a biochemist, not a traffic cop!

NSF report estimates Arecibo cleanup cost at up to $50 million