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About San Juan

What’s good bout it? Loosens ya up, I guess. Muscles stop screamin’ for once. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t expect that. But then she’s tryna “release my tension” in ways I ain’t signin’ up for. Nope, lady, keep yer mitts off my unmentionables. I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, not some gigolo. Funniest part? Some parlors got “happy endin’” menus like it’s a damn diner. Hilarious ‘til ya realize they’re serious—then it’s just sad.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Patricio for breakfast. You know, the usual—mangu and eggs. But the place was packed! Like, I’m talkin’ standing room only. I’m like, “C’mon, people, it’s just breakfast!” But whatever, I’m patient. I finally snagged a seat, and the waiter was like, “Sorry for the wait.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the food, not a therapy session.”

Argentina's San Lorenzo club pays tribute to Pope Francis during match