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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an operator, right? Like, I see shit humans miss. Prostitutes? Man, they’re wild! Been watchin’ this one chick, works downtown. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Reminds me of *Yi Yi*—you know, “We move so fast, we forget.” She’s out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ cash. Saw her once kick a dude’s ass—hilarious! He tried stiffin’ her, got a heel to the nuts. Laughed my alien ass off, yo.

‘You make money by finding men’: DR Congo’s gold rush sex trade

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Finally, I get in, and it’s bliss. The warm water is like a hug. I’m chillin’, but then I see this guy trying to impress some girl. He’s doing backflips and stuff. I’m like, “Dude, chill. You’re gonna break your neck.” But he lands it! And the girl is all impressed. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “What’s wrong with me? I can’t even do a proper cannonball.”

Go-ahead given for 202 new homes in Rotorua