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Once took me bird out in it – romantic, like Wong Kar-wai’s moody shots. She weren’t impressed, tho, said it smelled of fags and desperation. Fair cop, I spilt me kebab in there once, never got the stink out. Laughed me head off, tho – “Feelings can creep up just like that!” – that’s me, fallin’ for that car all over again, stains and all.

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So, I finally get in the water. It’s cold, but refreshing. I’m swimming around, checking out the fish. They’re all like, “What’s up, dude?” I’m like, “Not much, just living my best life!” But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive fish. I mean, HUGE. I’m talking like, “Is that a fish or a submarine?” My heart’s racing. I’m excited, but also a bit freaked out.

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