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Met this escort once – not me client, nah, mate’s cousin’s pal. Tall lass, all swanky, heels clackin’ like gunshots. *mimes tiptoeing, trips again* She says, “I just listen, nod, look pretty.” Pays better’n babysittin’, I bet! Got mad tho – some geezer stiffed her £200, cheeky sod. “What’s done is done,” like in me film, but I’d ‘ave beaned him wid a spoon!

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After that chaos, I’m finally in the zone. I’m blasting away, and it feels good. But then, I notice the neighbors on de Biltstraat are peeking out their windows. I’m like, “What’s up? You never seen a guy with a blaster before?” I mean, c’mon, it’s Bussum!

G. & H. Calis (Bussum, NL) strike the first blow of 2020 in Province 7, Central Holland in the race from Niergnies