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About Amsterdam

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up to me. She’s all like, “You’re making too much noise!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to make your street look good!” But she’s not having it. I’m ready to lose it. But then I remember, “Chill, man. It’s just a job.”

Queen Maxima looks typically elegant in a blue satin skirt as she attends a Christmas Music Gala in Bussum