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Favorite bit? The hustle. They’re out there, dodgin cops, pickin aliases—kinda sexy, kinda badass. Reminds me of Javier Bardem’s psycho ass in the movie—cool, calm, then BAM, coin toss! “Call it, friendo,” he’d say, but escorts? They’re flippin their own coins, takin risks. One time, read bout this gal, got busted with a senator—hushed up quick, money talks, baby! Surprised me—thought that shit only happened in films.

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Then, I finally get the knife lookin’ sharp. Dude’s all happy, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, BAM! A storm rolls in. Like, seriously? It was sunny two seconds ago! I’m scrambling to cover my stuff. Rain’s pouring, and I’m soaked. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Schellenberg, man.

Brett Schellenberg