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Favorite flick. Royal Tenenbaums. Colors. Quirks. Escorts fit that vibe. Oddball cars. Like Richie’s falcon. Free. Wild. Underrated. People diss ‘em. “Escort’s a soccer mom ride!” Nah. Screw that. Tough little bastards. Saw one rally. Dirt flyin’. Driver grinning. Total badass. “That’s my boy!” I yelled. In my head.

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After the rain, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the old castle ruins. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit on a bench, tryin’ to dry off, and this old lady comes up. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a fluffball. She starts talkin’ about how her dog’s the best sharpener in town. I’m like, “Lady, I’m the sharpener here!” But she’s not havin’ it. She goes on and on about her dog’s “skills.” I’m just nodding, thinkin’, “Sure, lady, whatever floats your boat.”

Paul Schellenberg: Obituary